by David Scott Robertson
Once upon a time I was swimming monotonous laps at the YMCA pool. Somewhere in between breaths, I sort of "tuned out" the exercise and "tuned in" to deep thinking. During that particular workout, my thoughts narrowed to a single question: "At the end of the day, how could I lay my head on the pillow satisfied, confident that I had done my best to live this day well?"
I swam more laps. I thought. I prayed. I swam. I listened for the Holy Spirit's response. I swam lap after lap before the answer came. But it did come. It's been years since that workout and to this hour I can recall the answer clearly. It was a defining moment in my life. A workout that was intended to help me feel good physically actually began a process that to this day is transforming my life.
I think we all, at critical points in our lives, come to a place where we ask ourselves great questions: "Who am I? What is the meaning of life? Where did I come from and where am I going? Is there a God and can I know Him personally? Why on earth am I here?"
[NOTE: I'd like to recommend an important book called The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren as one of the best books ever written apart from the Bible to help answer these excellent questions.]
But as for me, that day, I wanted with all my heart to know what would qualify me to be able to say at the close of the day:
- I have fought a good fight
- I have kept the faith
- I have lived today's life in the center of God's will
- I have made some progress, I have grown, I have been fruitful
- I have moved at least one step forward in fulfilling God's purposes for my life
- In short, I have lived the day well
The answer that bubbled up within my spirit that day in the YMCA pool (not surprisingly) revolved around relationships - eight key relationships to be exact. I felt that if I made some, any, even modest progress in each of these vital relationships each and every day then I sensed I would feel God's pleasure. I felt that if my life was on a "continuous improvement process" towards being like Jesus in important areas, then I could lay my head on the pillow at night satisfied, confident that I had done my best to live the day well. The eight relationships were (in order of priority):
1. My relationship with God
2. My relationship with my wife
3. My relationship with my daughter
4. My relationship with my family and extended family
5. My relationship with those I am trying to lead
6. My relationship with those I am trying to win to Jesus
7. My relationship with my ministry / career
8. My relationship with myself
At long last, my priorities began to "line up" in the proper order - God first, me last, and people in between.
If I could somehow manage to pull off in a single day making tiny, even microscopic, gains and progress and advancements in each of these crucial relationships every day, then I reasoned I could shoot for more minor progress the next day. And the next. And the day after that take another half-step forward. If I could string enough of these days together then perhaps this could add up to a more fulfilled life - a life lived well.
Back to the pool. Having just received the download of what was to me a revelation from God for my life, I continued to swim and ponder the implications of such a focused lifestyle. How would it play out in the day to day? I began to meditate on simple things, the basics really, that by God's grace and with the Holy Spirit's guidance could actually become daily realities. A typical day in the life of David S. Robertson applying this new paradigm might look something like this:
1. MY RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD
I would begin each day with a meeting with God. The first fruits would go to Him. I would talk to God and listen. I would spend time in His Word and allow it to form, conform, and transform me from who I am to who I am becoming in Him - one day at a time. The goal of this daily meeting would be intimate friendship with Jesus. This time with the Lord, first and foremost and above all else, would set the tone for the day and every day and open communication with Him throughout the day.
2. MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY WIFE
Since I have entered into a marriage covenant with the wife of my youth, Monica, I believe this privilege carries with it responsibilities. My marriage and love for my wife should imitate Christ's love for the Church and His willingness to lay His life down for His Bride. Marriage is a great place to die to self! For me, daily growth in my relationship with my wife might show up in the little things: Picking up my clothes, taking out the trash, emptying the dishwasher, making sure her car's tires are properly inflated, and asking her questions about her day and (gulp) actually listening without volunteering how to fix all the problems she encountered!
3. MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY DAUGHTER
Any parent I know at times grapples with feelings of inadequacy. Good parenting is not for the faint of heart! As a father of only one child, I only have one shot at parenting so I'd better make it count! Until she leaves home, I have the privilege and responsibility to nurture my daughter, Abigail. Every day, I want to sow seeds into her life of love, faith, tender instruction and balanced correction to join God in His work of making her life count for eternity. A bedtime story, a prayer, letting her watch me serve others, playing together; little things done on each day I am with her could help her to develop a healthy relationship with her earthly father that will pay off loater in her in responding to the love and instruction of her Heavenly Father.
4. MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY FAMILY AND MY EXTENDED FAMILY
My family is my blood relatives and my extended family is all members of the body of Christ, the Church. Daily growth in these areas, as the Spirit leads, might be to call my mother "just because…", emailing my aunt in Destin, Florida, or complimenting a church member for singing a special song during the collection of the offering. King Solomon pointed out that it's "the little foxes that ruin the vineyards…" (Song of Solomon 2:15). I suggest that the opposite may also be true: It's the little positive, uplifting, and edifying things that we can do for our family and extended family that can cause them to be encouraged, motivated, and inspired.
5. MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY THOSE I AM TRYING TO LEAD
I am a leader of a small group of men. It is one of the greatest blessings that God has given me in my life. I have the opportunity every week to have men in my home to share pain, pages of scripture, and prayer. My sincere hope is to spur them on towards a maximum impact life.
A call, a card, an email, a visit at work, a cup of coffee with them on a Saturday morning, a hug at church, sharing a motivational tape or a nugget of truth God gave me in my devotions during the week - these kinds of touches are small but mighty in the hand of God. Fortunately, they all don't have pressing needs at the same time, and God is helping me to be at the right place at the right time to support them.
6. MY RELATIONSHIP WITH THOSE I AM TRYING TO WIN TO JESUS
My life's mission is to fulfill God's Great Commission. To seek and save those whom are lost. To reconnect people separated by sin to their loving Heavenly Father through Jesus Christ. Every day I can pray. Every day I can do something, anything, to cooperate with the Holy Spirit to convict and convince people to become reconciled with God. There are people that God has and will place in my path. My mission is to respectfully, joyfully, and dutifully share the love of Christ with them. In other words, make friends with sinners and sooner or later, friends tell friends about Jesus. I can't do everything but I can do something, and to live life well I think each day I ought to be about the Father's business of reaching out to a lost and dying world separated from their Creator.
7. MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY MINISTRY / CAREER
For me, my "ministry" happens to be my career (a full-time pastor). I want to lay it on the altar of God daily and seek His wisdom and anointing and assistance in fulfilling this high calling every single day. I have "days off" but really there is never a day off from caring for people and responding to their needs. In living well, I must do my best in the vocation wherewith God has called me to serve. To do what I do daily as unto the Lord is a spiritual act of worship. Christians in secular employment who do their job with quality and excellence in the same way bring glory to God.
8. MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MYSELF
This involves maintaining my health in light of my body being the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 3:16). It involves exposing myself to Christian authors whom God has given expanded revelation so that others can grow through reading their works. I want to take advantage of every opportunity, however small it might be, to gather an idea here or inspiration there to move on ahead at least one notch in God's life development process of me. It's not hard, it doesn't take long hours of study, but it does take a little bit consistently enough to see the results. As my brother has told me for years: "David, inch by inch it's a cinch, yard by yard it's hard."
So there you have it. You can take it or leave it. My thoughts on how to live well involve doing the basics, living life in the right order, and trusting in God completely to help you in the day to day doing little things that all add up.
I'm banking on the fact that if I work hard at becoming a better Christian, husband, father, family member, mentor, soul winner, worker, and responsible steward with my life, that at the end of the day I can lay my head on the pillow satisfied, confident that I have done my best to live the day well.
DSR
9/5/04