by David Scott Robertson
I got the call at an inconvenient time. I checked the caller I.D., didn't recognize the number, but decided to pick up anyway just before the call went to the recorder. Within two seconds I winced, realizing that I had been caught in the crosshairs of a telemarketer.
Now, I'm not one of those "just hang up on the telemarketer" kind of guys. I mean, there's a human being on the other end of the line. And please understand, I don't want to unfairly lump all telemarketers into one negative, stereotypic category. Some are excellent communicators offering a valuable product or service, and they do so in a respectful and conscientious way. Others are, well, like the call I got last night. Maybe he's called your house too.
This poor guy was peddling long distance phone service. He probably had a long shift to work, a car payment due, rent to pay, a cable bill looming, a script to read, and he had me on the line.
This man was bound and determined to get through his script. Each polite refusal only took him to another section of his script. Each objection I raised only seemed to add fuel to his fire to make a sale. Each additional minute I stayed on the phone was an enticement to him to go for it. This guy just wouldn't take "no" for an answer.
Finally, mercifully, when it became obvious that we were entangled in an epic battle of right and wrong (he was right and I was wrong), of good versus evil (he was good and I was evil), and he dejectedly began to realize that the thrill of victory was not going to be experienced in this call, then and only then did he begin to wind down the sales pitch. In discernable disgust, he at (long) last ended the conversation and released me from the surly bonds that had tethered me to my phone. Surely, given the sound of his sad voice, after ending the call he would excuse himself from his workstation and hands-free phone set and retreat to the restroom for a good cry. Yeah, right.
Now I understand the man had a job to do and he was only trying to make a buck. He was just what his employer was looking for when he posted the ad in the classifieds:
"Wanted: Growing Fortune 1000 company seeks energetic, aggressive person with excellent communication skills for telemarketing position. Must be able to handle rejection well. Work part-time from your home. Day and evening shifts available, excellent benefits, pay commensurate with experience. Call…"
The boss found a guy that could handle a conversation like this:
TELEMARKETER: "Good evening sir, are you busy?"
AVERAGE JOE: "Why yes, I'm giving CPR to a man right now."
TELEMARKETER: "I understand sir, but this will only take a few minutes. May I interest you…?"
The kid got the job and now he was calling me. His trainer more than likely had told him the longer you keep them on the phone the higher percentage of your closing the deal.
All this to say that this young man, all humor aside, reminded me of me. He reminded me of me in my early days of witnessing to sinners about Jesus.
A pagan could have very well written a similar article about me back in my early days of "evangelizing" substituting "the gospel" for the product or service and me in the place of the telemarketer. He could have entitled the article "The Evangelist."
For if the truth were known, I have been rude, crude, and socially unacceptable in "sharing my faith"--all in the name of the Lord, mind you! And I did it "in love"!
Actually, I did NOT win friends or influence people when I was trying to ram and cram my belief system down another citizen's throat. I did not populate heaven with another soul for whom Christ died by tactfully forcing them to listen to my religious script. What I did do was soothe my religious conscience by "witnessing" and doing my "evangelism thing." I was caught up in "cold calling" on obvious sinners who obviously needed eternal life through Jesus, and I was the conductor passing out tickets to heaven.
Now, on the other hand, if a friend of mine were to call one day and tell me he or she had discovered a product or service that had benefited them and they wamted to recommend that I try it, I probably would. But the operative word in the previous sentence is the word "friend."
Friends have influence; friends have relationship; and sooner or later, friends tell friends about Jesus.
Food for thought: Why not consider laying aside memorized "scripts of evangelism" and be real instead? Be yourself. Or better yet, try to be like Jesus, the Friend of sinners.
DSR
6/7/04